Is it still depression

I was depressed for many years, dealing with tons of issues in my life, now I feel for the first time in my life, I am happy, but at times I still ask myself and people ask me what is wrong. I stare into space always thinking all the time, my mind races like crazy, I am happy laughing and enojoying myself, then a short time after that I am feeling weird and anxious. I have been on meds for a long period of my life, due to depression, anxiety, panic attacks, nervous breakdowns, and have now been off meds for a year, is it time to go back on the meds? Am I ever NOT going to be depressed?

This is a pretty difficult question and only you will know if you are experiencing a relapse or whether it is a case of old habits die hard. Most people who have had struggled with chronic depression most of their lives have a tendency to slip back at times into old familiar patterns of thinking which will lead then back to full blown symptoms if they don't intervene. It is impossible to tell from what you wrote whether this is the case as it isn't clear whether you learned to identify the cognitive factors that contribute to relapse.

There are many people who will need meds throughout their life in order to maintain stability, but also there are many who developed thought patterns as a result of long term untreated depression that recur even when the chemical imbalance has been corrected. Depressive thinking becomes a habit and it's human nature to resort to what's familiar when we're stressed even when we know better. Try what you learned in therapy when you dealt with your issues and if you continue to experience growing symptoms that are more than transient, it is likely you will need the meds. If, on the other hand, using cognitive techniques and avoiding negative habits (like dwelling and excessive introspection) keep you functioning well for the most part, it may simply be a case of old habits die hard and your own anxiety triggered by any moments of sadness. Remember, feeling your feelings when there are sad things in your life or things that cause you concern doesn't equate with depression. Everyone feels moments of anxiety and sadness, but when you've struggled with these things for years at clinical proportions it is not uncommon to overreact when you begin to experience them at normal levels. It's a lot like PTSD if you think of chronic depression as having represented the trauma and normal ranges of sadness or anxiety become triggers.