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health advisory Hospital Mental Health 2007-11-15 19:01:54

ive built up a relashionship up with this 20 year old girl in canada, that ive been speaking to for two years, im 29. this is an achievement for me because i suffer with an undiagnosed mental health condition that ive had since 16, ive had a rough life never really had a girlfriend, never socially developed or made friends. never had a job. i live in a one bedroom flat on my own. its an extremely lonely life. i have very little self confidence. i dont own much materialist possessions. i feel i have nothing to offer anyone. im ageing in my face. i have two missing. front.lower teeth...wtf!!..i despair. however im really overjoyed that this girl seems to be sticking by me, shes told me she loves me and shes coming to the uk next year to study, where shell be able to see me. shes even aggreed to get engaged to me! shes seen me on cam. im worrying when she sees the reality of my circumstances she wont want me anymore? i feel very possessive of her & are frightened of her leaving me.

Answer:

Uh, try flying out to meet her or having her fly out to meet you. Try to make a real thing not the internet thing. Before becoming engaged you should meet each other. There is no such thing as a relationship without trust and understanding and actual real life communication. Do not scare her off with this unfounded jealousy. After a certain age all my friends were primarily men, and I am not a ****. I have never flirted or had sex with my male friends. I just felt comfortable with them (none of the competing that is involved with female relationships). So don't judge her. If you really love her and are not just stuck on her because she talks to you.....then you will accept her as she is. If you cannot, maybe you don't really love her. You can not expect things from people, if you do that (so soon) you will lose her. Plus (and I truly believe this) you need REAL live human interaction with her to bring your relationship to a level that would warrant an engagement. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, also, about the disability thing and how you look. It sucks, but I have lived with it....and I found love when I was NOT looking for it. I hope you find it too. By the way, twenty is a young age, you need to meet with this girl....if she agrees to fly out to meet you or vice versa (who cares about the expense...get a credit card, it'd be worth it for this) then she really does take your seriously. And that is all you need to know right there. The internet is not real, do NOT forget this. You will never know how you two really interact until you can be together in real life. Otherwise, it is all full of elaborations and not REALITY.

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I dont know why I even bother, after reading all your emails, that I can understand you. But I just want you to know that you are only pretending coz half of your feelings come from feeling so overwhelmed with yourself. Just get out there and make life work for you. Dont be stuck to the internet coz its just a make believe world.

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