Is it me or am I about to have a nervous breakdown
I really hope you sort yourself out, honey! Good luck!
you don't have to make a decicion strait away. i know it's easy for someone else to say but try to calm down and keep controll because it's better for the baby. your not crazy for being mad at him he sounds like jerk but if you love him then it's hard, so first try to regain controll off your self and then talk to him and explain how close you are to either killing him or yourself. let him know how you feel and he will proberly make the decicion for you; either he will carry on being a jerk and then you can leave him or he will make a really effort and that will show he loves you.
You are pregnant. You are going through an amazing time in your life. You are bringing a beautiful baby in to this world and it's a whole new start for you. Your man sounds like he loves you but is very imature. It's not his friends that are making him do this, he is chosing to smoke or hang with them instead of with you. He loves you but he is imature and is doing imature things.
You just need to realize that there are alot of things going on in your life that you don't have control over and that makes you feel like having a break down. You don't have control over when this baby comes, you dont have control over what your boyfriend does, and you feel like you don't have control over your emotions right now. You just need to focus what you have control over which is you. Everything else will fall in to place and will happen when they are suppose to happen. The baby will come when it comes and it will be great. Your boyfriend will either get it together or not but he will always be in your life because of your baby. It sounds like you are more mature than most and I think you know that. It's ok to feel like you are losing it, your body's hormones are going crazy right now and all you need to do is focus on that beautiful baby.
When you are pregnant, your hormones make you crazy. After you have the baby, it gets even worse. It sounds like you need to leave him for your own sanity. When you leave him, he may see the error of his ways. If not, oh well, his loss! I know you've heard it a million times, but girl, there are a million other fish in the sea. There are other guys out there that would treat you way better! Just try to look for someone different from him next time! Good luck, and enjoy this special time in your life with your baby. You are an amazing woman in need of no one or nothing to make you feel special!
If you see a psychiatrist they will diagnose you with bipolar or bioschizo.