Im not depressed but i wanna kill myself, why
ok, no offense, but is this supposed to be serious? you turned the whole thing into a doctor seusse rhyme, the words rhyme with each other, was that deliberate?
Personal you have no reason at all to be miserable I have been in the exact same position as you but wat I was going through was way worst. Life is not easy and it is not suppose to be life is rough and we have to deal with it killing youself is forever there is no turning back once you do it and things in your life could change around if you do that then you are gonna be hurting everyone that loves you so before ask yourself do you really want to do this?
Sounds like you're not just having suicidal thinking, but depressive thoughts as well. Talk to someone offline! That's my advice to you.
Actually, even if you don't feel, "sad" as such, you still may be depressed.
One of the many symptoms of depression can be what is called, "anhedonia" where you just don't enjoy anything, and even though you might not feel sad as such, your ability to enjoy anything might be affected.
However, it does seem possible that if there is depression, your own state of mind over your previous actions is coming back to haunt you.
If you're grades aren't the best, you can still go to college (assuming you are in America and not England where the system is totally differnet), you probably won't be able to go to any prestigious schools, but you could easily qualify for one of the land-grant style public universities, where you could get a good education and still come out able to get a good job and secure a good future for yourself.
Your only in high-school, you really do have the rest of your life ahead of you, and BTW please go to a good psychiatrist and get yourself evalutated for possible depression and other issues that might be getting in the way.
ill tell u why, life sucks!
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