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health advisory Hospital Mental Health 2007-11-15 19:00:45

When I was seven, I was raped by my 17 year old brother. I never told my family, or anyone else for that matter, nor do I want my family involved. I don't want to put them through that. I have just tried to forget about it, but it's not working. I'm now, 20 and it's affecting my relationships. What are the best ways to cope? Will I ever get over this? I'm so sad and angry. I'm just lost...Can someone give me some advice?

Answer:

I know this brings up alot of emotions, but remember that is a sign your body is healing. But in order to move on, your must acknowledge them, for one, two, go to a rape cope center or get counsiling, then three, remember you have love to turn to. You have a family, keeping it inside like this is what is making it fester and grow stronger. Its like having a big elephant in your room and pretending its not there. You have to confront these feelings by letting the ones you trust most help, it will take alot of emotional work, but most people who do this cope and learn to move on, remember, its not your fault, its the sick creeps fault who did what he did to you. But try not to dwell on that acknoledge it, and try to move on. I really feel for you, and i know you will get past this. Good luck, and be strong.

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Im sorry to hear about your situation. Nobody should ever have to go through that. The best thing to do is to tell your family and that might be the first step on the road to recovery. You shouldnt have to deal with this alone, your family can provide you with moral support. I understand not wanting to put your family through that though. You should see a counselor about this. Best of luck to you.

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I am a 24 year old male and almost every female I have ever come in contact with has had some type of rape or act occur in their life. Unfortunately this problem doesn't go away but you have no reason to blame yourself. It wasn't anything you did and it didn't kill you, so you have the opportunity to become stronger than what happened in your past. Women like yourself learn to forgive and become strong women in society and help prevent future horror stories. Pray and keep your head up.

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You can get past this. That happened to me when I was 18 and it was a drill sergeant. I chose not to deal with it and drank instead. I never had a successful relationship until I went to counseling and talked about what happened. It didn't make me forget but it did make it so I could move on. I think about what happened sometimes but it doesn't control me anymore. By going to counseling I took the power away from what happened. My suggestion to you is to find someone you can talk to about this, either a good friend or a counselor and meet with them weekly. What you are suffering from is called post traumatic stress disorder. You get PTSD from traumatic events. I have PTSD from my rape. But I am doing fine now. I have faith that you will too.

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I really, really strongly recommend you find a counselor. If you don't know how, call the local woman's shelter in your area and ask them where to go. They might have somebody there you can talk to, even though this is something that happened a long time ago. To heal, you need a chance to fully explain what went on, all your feelings; the fear, the hurt, the shame. I also strongly recommend you stay AWAY from your brother, since as long as you're near him, you're going to have those hurt feelings constantly arising. The people at the shelter can discuss with you your options of finding safety, whether it's physically from your family, or emotionally. It is possible to overcome the shame. I recommend a book called "The Courage to Heal", which you are likely to find at a library or most bookstores (I got mine from booksamillion). You are not likely to be able to just "forget it" or "get over it"; in your memories, you are still going to be a hurt little girl, and she needs extra special care.