Why cant I learn to be anorexic long enough to lose all this weight
Sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. I felt this way too. I spent ages trawling the pro-ana sites just wishing I had their willpower... and, guess what. One day, I woke up, and I did.
Now I'm 40lbs lighter, and on bad days I can't put anything near my mouth without wrestling with myself for five minutes. I can't go out for meals with friends and family and enjoy it, I can't go a day without getting on the scales and torturing myself no matter what it says. If I've gained, I starve, if I've lost, I starve too.
I know how you feel and how it feels like having a mental disease would be worth it to be thin. And sometimes it feels like it is. But really, it's NOT. You can't concentrate on anything else - ever - because your mind is full of worthless numbers and calculations and ways to get around doing what you need to do to LIVE.
Please email me if you'd like to talk. Good luck xx
I simply doesn't work that way!
Anorexia is a disease. Pretty much by definition you can't turn it on or off, and you really, really don't want to go there. If you really need to lose the weight, start exercising, at least a half hour a day of vigorous aerobics. Do strength/muscle building exercises. There are a zillion books/videos/websites with good advice to get you started. Just please, please, please don't become anorexic.
dont go anorexic. it messes ur life up